A little boy asked his mother “Mom, where did we come from?’ His mother replies “God created us.”
The boy then said, “But, daddy said we can from monkeys.” His mother smiled, and said, “Oh, he’s talking about his side of the family.”
A man went to the hospital emergency room because both of his ears were burned. After the doctor helped him with emergency medical care, the doctor asks what happened? How did you burn your ears?
The man said he was ironing his shirt, and his telephone started to ring, and instead of grabbing his telephone, he accidently grabbed the hot iron to answer the phone call.
The doctor was understanding but was still a little puzzled for a second! So, the doctor asks, What about your other ear?How did you burn that ear? The man quickly answered.‘Oh!’that was when I called 911.
A woman with a baby gets on a bus, and the bus driver says, “Hay, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” shocked and pissed-off, the woman stomps back to the back of the bus. She sits down next a guy, and concerned about her behavior, he turns to her and says, “What’s wrong?” And she then says, “The bus driver insulted me.” He say’s “Go up there and give him a piece of your mind.” And here, “I’ll hold your monkey.”